I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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