he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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