Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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