Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
