Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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