i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
