Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Damn victory sex feels great
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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