hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize