i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
