You work out of a Hotel?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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