can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
