I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
