i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
