Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
