He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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