I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
