I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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