so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
