Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Randomize
