i think i have two assholes
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
