i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize