i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
