Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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