sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
dude. I can hear the air.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
