sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
