Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
