I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
