So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
