just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
