I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
