This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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