8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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