Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
