I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
