even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
