OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
