Jerry, you need to find god
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
