please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
