so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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