TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We need to get me chipped asap
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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