I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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