Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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