I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
