Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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