Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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