I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
