I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Can Purell be used as lube?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
