Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
