How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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