Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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